Anglers Praise Trump Administration for Stopping Trump Administration

Pebble Mine

In breaking news, through a reversal in position by the Army Corps of Engineers in the permitting process, the Trump Administration has taken earth-shattering action by restraining themselves from allowing the exploitation of Bristol Bay by a Canadian mining company.

In 2014, the Obama Administration implemented protections for Bristol Bay, and shortly after, the political obstacles to the mining project were seen by investors as a reason to abandon the project. With a lack of optimism about destroying Bristol Bay for the mine, stock in Northern Dynasty Minerals crashed, and Pebble Mine appeared to be dead. That is, until the Trump Administration jumped in.

In 2017, after much of the United States voted for a land developer for president who then appointed mining and fossil fuel executives to oversee protection of the environment, anglers voiced concern.

“I’ve always been really into grills and grilling,” commented an angler in 2017 when asked about the appointment of Scott Pruitt to head the Environmental Protection Agency. “I never posted about it before, but I swear I always grilled and knew about Traeger, and these pellets make a huge difference.”

Early into the Trump presidency, Trump-appointed EPA chief and EPA opponent Scott Pruitt had a secret meeting with Tom Collier, CEO of Pebble Limited Partnership. According to fake news CNN, “At 10:36 a.m. that same day, the EPA’s acting general counsel, Kevin Minoli, sent an email to agency staff saying the administrator had ‘directed’ the agency to withdraw an Obama-era proposal to protect the ecologically valuable wetland in southwest Alaska from certain mining activities.” (Source)

And as recently as this summer, it appeared that the Trump Administration was pushing the mining project through, and for many, hope was fading. Then, in a surprise move, the President’s oldest child took action and retweeted a Twitter post. He also added two sentences to emphasize the point: “As a sportsman who has spent plenty of time in the area I agree 100%. The headwaters of Bristol Bay and the surrounding fishery are too unique and fragile to take any chances with.” This move surprised many in the angling community who pay far more attention to Instagram than Twitter. Then, after Tucker Carlson reported on his opposition to the mine, rumors began swirling that Trump might stop the project. And let us rejoice — through a new hurdle by the Army Corps of Engineers, he did — at least for now!

For many, this is why it makes sense that Trump is sometimes portrayed as muscular and standing on the front of a tank. He’s bold and takes action in unique ways. “I appreciate his style,” stated Kyle M., a former arsonist who once received the keys to his hometown for putting out a fire he started. “Hey, the fire was put out. What’s not to celebrate?!”

Jason, a fly fishing pro staffer who voted for Trump and has been campaigning actively and publicly on social media to stop Trump ever since, immediately posted an Instagram story to celebrate the news. When asked about the fact that the Trump Administration is simultaneously working to open up drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, he was unable to be reached for comment.

“Trump is showing us now that he really cares about the environment. He always has,” stated Anna M., a respected ambassador for tying materials and water bottles. When asked about speculation that the Trump Administration plans to undo methane emission restrictions from oil and gas companies this month, she replied, “I didn’t see anything about that on the Costa Instagram feed, but I’ll play close attention. I just know Don Jr. is on our side. #kickplastic”

For some, there is frustration that Trump isn’t getting the recognition he deserves. A Trump supporter commented on criticism of Trump. “Looks like more Trump derangement syndrome. Why can’t they just give Trump credit? You know he’s about to pay Stormy Daniels’ legal fees. But the Clinton News Network won’t even talk about that.”

Another Trump supporter expressed his frustration. “I used to steal cars. Once I was about to steal a Range Rover, but I stole the cheaper Jeep Cherokee instead. It takes a bigger man to lose out on that much cash. People need to recognize that moral decisions are sometimes complex.”

With Pebble Mine stopped for now, the angling community can now breathe easy. This is in fact a win. Our work is done.